Northern Thailand and Cambodia

We bid goodbye to Koh Samui and took two short flights north to Chiang Mai, the largest city in the Northern Thailand and the second largest in the country.  Chiang Mai is tiny in comparison to Bangkok; only 1 million or so people, and spread over a wide area.  After a night in Chiang Mai we drove north about 100 miles to a small village called Khum Lanna.  On the drive up the kids were hungry, so we ordered lunch at a roadside restaurant.  More like an open shack, but one of many.  Kind of like a food court at the mall except that there were cows and chickens and mangy dogs running around, lots of flies, an abundance of blue tarps, and lots of corrugated sheet metal roofs.  4 orders of Pad Thai, 1 soup, 3 sodas and 2 waters.  Grand total of 175 baht or about $5.75.  Good living.  Khum Lanna is a boutique “farm” renowned for its Thai cooking classes.  Over two evenings we prepared 6 incredible Thai dishes.  Each family member is now a certified Thai chef, and Traci and I look forward to the kids cooking most of our future meals.  The area was beautiful but unfortunately we were there during a heat wave.  I thought that having a BMI that is about 60 clicks north of desirable, coupled with a permanent fur sweater, would make me the most susceptible to overheating.  Not to be.  You know it is hot when a thin and fit 9 year old girl is sweating and developing a heat rash.  It was over 40 degrees Celsius each day.  That’s about 104 Fahrenheit.  That is sweating in the shade when you’re standing still hot.  There are 3 seasons in Thailand.  The Hot Season (March-May), Monsoon Season (June-Sept) and Winter Season (October-February).  It wasn’t quite as humid as in the South (probably 97% vs. 99%), but very funny as all we wanted to do in the afternoons was lie on our beds under the fans and not move much.  Despite Traci’s constant craving for a run or other exercise, she was pretty much bedridden.  We developed a deep appreciation for air conditioning, because if you don’t have it and it is really hot, you really crave it.

On our 3^rd morning we departed Khum Lana for Chiang Mai but not before a morning filled with animal adventures.  Our first stop was to an elephant camp called Maetamen.  After experiencing elephants in the wild in Africa, we were underwhelmed, to say the least, when we had elephant “riding” experiences in India and Nepal.  Nepal with the bathing was pretty cool, but we were still left with a fairly nasty taste in our mouths that the elephants were more often mistreated than not in these countries.  We didn’t really want to financially support any further rides, but our guide said that the show and the elephant paintings were really great.  We agreed and were glad we did.  I don’t know how, but somehow they teach elephants to paint and we happily purchased the evidence.   Great camp where it truly appeared that animals were treated well.   After the elephant camp, we headed to tiger kingdom, again on my and Traci’s behalf somewhat reluctantly.  We purchased tickets where you could go into the cage and be with smallest, small, big, or biggest tigers.  The kids chose smallest, while Traci and I saved about 75 cents and chose biggest.  Again, it wasn’t the wild, but at least with places like this there is a net gain in the species, compared to the habitat destruction and population decimation elsewhere.  Unfortunately I think that the only future for tigers is in places like this.  Kids and tigers galore.  Can’t have a more sure fire hit with the kids than that.  We did a few cheesy events like a snake show and a monkey show but our animal experience was quickly degenerating so we called it a day.  Still, with the elephants and tigers, it was one of the best days of our trip.

Next it was off to the airport for a couple of short flights.  After some nightmares about the sanity and filth at the airport in Kathmandu, I consider most other airports to now be islands of cool cleanliness with everything a traveler could need, especially air conditioning.  So we were off to Siem Reap, Cambodia.  The first impression of Cambodia wasn’t the greatest.  At customs we were beckoned to a line by a customs agent who seriously looked like an evil Cambodian version of Kathy Bates in “Throw mama from the train.”  She grunted to Traci and the kids to go through the line while I attempted to play nice, smile, and keep my sweat rate down to about 2 liters/minute.  She was the epitome of disservice.  I wanted to complain, but then I looked at her nametag and her title said “Police captain” so I refrained. I need to buy a nametag like that.  You never know when that could come in handy but I digress.  After about 15 minutes of unnecessary paperwork, she looked at me and smiled and said “You give me tip!” to which I quickly smiled and said I had no money, grabbed our passports and visas, and hustled to the baggage claim, thinking that if she came after me I could somehow shame her in front of her peers or the public.  Welcome to Cambodia!

Fortunately that was our worst experience.  Once again we were blessed with a guide with a strong command of the English language but the inability to speak the language in a way that could be clearly understood.  Let’s be compassionate and say that he had a strong accent.  On the way from the airport, the guide (a sweet guy, about 22, with an infectious smile) was trying to teach our family some basic Cambodian words.  Hello, please, etc.  So he is going through the various phrases and its 105 degrees outside and probably 101 inside the van with its lame A/C.  The guide says the words for hello and please and we all repeat and acknowledge.  We’re feeling cool and very multicultural.  Sydney, Traci and I are paying attention.  Hayden and Halle are in La La land.  The guide then looks directly at Traci and says a word we’ve never heard and then says “Sanks Shoe!” Traci looks him dead in the eye and repeats “Sanks Shoe?” thinking this is a Cambodian word and waiting for the English translation.  Traci is just soooo nice and she will engage this guy interminably.  It takes me a few seconds and I suppress a grin, but then Sydney gets the uncontrollable giggles.  She and I understand: Sanks Shoe = Thank You.  But I need to be polite, and can’t laugh, and Sydney is beet red and laughing hysterically but the guide doesn’t get it as he hasn’t really been talking to her.  Just about impossible to portray in words but it was so funny the mix of Traci being so nice, Sydney picking up on this, the guide not picking up on her getting it, and the subtle nuances of language.  I should not comment critically, as the people I denigrate for their English skills speak English a heckuva lot better than I do any second language.  But I will never forget the picture of Sydney laughing uncontrollably at our first Cambodian lesson.

 

Our first adventure was to head south to Tomle Sap (the largest freshwater lake in SE Asia) for a longboat ride to the floating villages at the north end of the lake.  This lake is pretty fascinating, ranging in size from 3,000 sq. km. during the dry season to 12,000 sq. km. after monsoon season.  Let me say that freshwater is a serious misnomer.  Take your lovely Starbucks iced caramel Frappuccino sans whip cream and sans ice (make it about 100 degrees Fahrenheit) and you get an idea of the lake’s color and temperature, but you don’t dare imagine the vile filth in the water.  Just because it doesn’t have salt, doesn’t mean it’s fresh.  Most probably think it is mud and sediment from the sands.  Seeing what we saw, and smelling what we smelled, I’m thankful our boat stayed afloat, especially as it was captained by a 17 year old who looked 12 and his younger brother as first mate. Still a very cool experience to see how people there lived.  

 

After dinner at a local restaurant, we bought and watched a $1 dvd copy of “The Hunger Games” (with some type of Scandinavian subtitles) and satisfied a long anticipated taste of Americana, as all of us have read the trilogy. 

During two days of touring, we were focused on seeing temples and then some more temples.  Some of these were actually super cool, especially Angor Wat and another temple known as “the Jungle Temple” which was strewn with huge fig trees throughout the ruins.  There are hundreds of temples in the area, most dating back to around 1200 A.D.  I can honestly say that the Janssen family is templed-out, especially in 100+ degree weather.   Despite the heat, these temples were pretty fascinating.  The Angor Wat complex is probably about the size of the Seahawks stadium and convention center.  Not as tall but all of it is imported stone and virtually every square inch of every sandstone structure is covered with incredibly detailed carvings.  Literally millions of hours of labor by very skilled craftsmen long, long ago. 

 

Our final evening we walked to the bustling night market and treated ourselves to the Dr. Fish Massage.  For $1, you sat on a bench and put your feet into a pool of goldfish that were ravenously hungry for the dead skin on your feet.  It is one of the strangest experiences I’ve had.  Incredibly ticklish and bizarre but apparently good for your feet, or so the vendors said.  I can’t believe that none of us had a camera but hopefully it will be a custom that is not limited to Cambodia.

Cambodia was great.  We only visited for 2 days.  Siem Reap is a very cool little town.  Clean, super cheap, great markets and restaurants, and the Cambodian people are wonderful and amazingly appreciative of visitors.  Were we to do this portion of the trip again, I’d probably load up on English materials and self-guide.  The guides were wonderful but the language barrier, even with their speaking some English, makes learning even more difficult as you expect the guide to teach you and don’t bone up on the material prior to.  We were counting on learning about the history but we didn’t learn as much as we’d hoped, however we definitely absorbed the sights and smells and sounds.  Next we’re off to Vietnam and China for a couple of weeks. 

Testing the exotic fruit at the Chiang Mai market

Add a little crunch to your soup or salad

Advertisement for the local market butcher

Cool temple in Chiang Mai.  Those are completely fake smiles on the kids.  It was about 110 degrees in there and the guide had us locked in a monologue which we couldn't understand. 

Sydney works on her curry

Break from cooking classes.  Hayden wanted to bring the apron home.

That would be an elephant painting an elephant.

Happy Elephants.  They cool themselves by flapping their ears (seriously).  Note the slack ears.

Sad Elephants.  Note the vigorously flapping ears.

$10,000 auction item at the Woodlawn Park Zoo.  In Chiang Mai, a $.67 tip worked just fine.

Halle with the world's best pillow

"Crimony this kid's face is hot!"

You're never too old to kiss a tiger cub!

Happy kids

It's a very strange feeling going in the cage of a full grown male tiger. 

Amazing animals

One of these guys loves his job.  Halle's first python kiss.

Hayden thinks "Silly Monkey!  Dumb guy doesn't even realize that I'm giving him bunny ears!"  Meanwhile, the excitement of wild kingdom day is evidently waning with the parents

"Hey pal I saw you giving me bunny ears and if you try that again I'll bite off something that will really hurt!"

In Cambodia, on a longboat ride to Tomle Sap

This just really bothered me

Crocodile pen at the floating village

The floating village at Tomle Sap

School

14 year old first mate churning up the muddy water

Our first temple

Traci is pretty much the pied piper of street vendors

Second temple.  Enthusiasm draining proportionally with increasing temperature

Finishing the Cambodian Ironman or what happens after a 60' climb in the heat

Not sure if the people or the oxen are more unhappy.  Nothing like hopping in an ox cart for a bumpy fly filled ride in the heat!

Cambodian Taxi.  Wish I would have snapped a picture from the side as well.  There were at least 20 people in this van

Eastern entrance to Angkor Wat

One of many detailed walls in Angkor Wat

Finer detail

"Yippee!  Dad when can we see the next temple?"

Another totally staged, kids look like you're having fun photo in Angkor Wat

More detail in Angkor Wat.  Every surface was covered with hand carvings and there are MILES of surfaces.

Apparently this is a famous photo spot for the reflection in the pool, but being the dry season the pool was more cesspool than relecting pool.

Traci and her favorite tree

The Western entrance to Angkor Wat with our guide Vaythun

Angkor Tom

The Jungle Temple



More fig tree roots at the Jungle Temple

OK if you've read this far you're either family by blood or by marriage.  If not you need a new hobby.  Funny video of the cheesy monkey show and its star "Monkey Jordan"

Thailand

Nepal didn’t treat us well on our departure.   We had a mix-up in our tickets with the same name on two ticket numbers and I had to wait at the ticket counter for 2 hours while they tried to resolve the issue with antiquated computer systems.  I was then sardined into a seat in front of the exit row (these and the rearmost seats don’t recline).  Still, I consider us lucky with this minor regression, in that despite all of the transitions and flights we’ve had, any delays and mishaps have been relatively minor.  We arrived in Bangkok at around 8 in the evening and the temperature was a cool 92 degrees, with a similar humidity level.  After departing the plane and arriving in the terminal of a fancy new modern airport, I felt like throwing myself on the ground and mimicking snow angels and crying and screaming “CLEAN! CLEAN! CLEAN!

Upon arrival at our hotel we were greeted by Traci’s older brother Travis, his wife Erin, and their kids Tripp and Rieley.  Our kids were in heaven and it was great to have that feeling of “home” that they brought with them.  They did an incredible job tackling jet lag despite long flights from Seattle to Tokyo and Bangkok that arrived at 3:00 a.m.  We enjoyed a half day tour of Bangkok the next morning.   Given the 100 degree-ish temperature and a similar humidity level, coupled with yet another Charlie Brown schoolteacheresque speaking guide, and the usual 3-4 hour attention span of our kids was easily halved.  The Grand Palace and some of the associated temples were magnificent, but it was just too hot to endure.  This was quickly resolved by some cold sugar drinks and long-boat ride on the Chao Praya River and its adjoining canals in a longboat.  These boats have open engines and about a 15’ drive shaft to a prop that is levered up and down out of the water.  We cruised the canals for about 90 minutes then it was back to the hotel pool, which is NEVER a bad option with kids.

Our second day in Bangkok featured a 90 minute drive to the Dumnoen Saduak floating market.  There are crowded markets all over Bangkok that feature every type of food, trinket, junk, clothing, and art made in the junk factories of Asia.  I think the “Everything is 99 cents” stores in the US share their same suppliers with these markets.  The only difference in the floating market it that you have to pay about $10/person to be paddled around on a small boat by a small, few-toothed cigarette smoking man, jostling with hundreds of other boats, to view the same luxury items.  If you want to walk away when on your feet, you do so.  In a boat you sit and sweat and say “no thank you I’m not interested” 10 or so times instead of the usual 2-3.  After 45 minutes or so you then attempt to extract your body from the 4” seats and step out of the boat without falling into brown, foul canal water.  OK some of that is in jest.  It was actually really interesting to see, and we did enjoy some great fresh fruit and ice cream, and the kids did get to hold a huge Python which was neat.  When we return our kids will never want to go to the zoo again “Held that!”  “Fed one of those with my lips!”  “Already rode one of those!”  Blah blah blah.  After the market we ventured to an elephant trekking outfit, where all the kids were able to do a pretty cool jungle ride.  We then broke down and stopped at a pizza place for lunch, and all of the kids devoured the longed for nourishment.  Afternoon pool time, enough said.

After two days in Bangkok we headed south to Koh Samui.  This is the second largest island in Thailand, and lies off the east coast about 300 miles south of Bangkok.  We rented a beautiful villa on a beach on the north end of the island called Bhoput.  Our days were mostly predictable and delightful.  Morning exercise, mid-morning studying, swimming in the infinity pool, walking the beach, enjoying an hour massage, searching for the best hotel pools on the beach, eating an incredible fresh dinner prepared by our villa’s chef. We also enjoyed a day-long boat trek to the Angthong Marine Park where we all did some great snorkeling around some really beautiful coral and rock formations.  Another highlight was both families spending an afternoon of ziplining above and through the forest canopy.  We enjoyed lot of little adventures, but mostly we enjoyed each other’s company and the pool in our lovely villa.  No description of our time would be adequate without discussing the two most memorable things:  food and massage.

The local Thai food is nothing short of extraordinary:  incredibly fresh ingredients, local seafood, and fabulous spices.  Food prices in restaurants are about half of what you’d pay in the US, and even in the most simple restaurants the quality of the food rivals or exceeds that of what you’d find at the best restaurants in the U.S.  As with Africa, India and Nepal, labor here is incredibly cheap.  There are hours of prep work required for some dishes, but that’s not a big deal in a country where cooking is an ingrained part of the culture and the labor and time are readily available.   Our villa for two families came with a chef, a house manager, a handyman/gardener, and a housekeeper.  The chef, Pin (pronounced “peen”), was absolutely amazing.  Each day we would look through an exhaustive menu and select what we wanted for lunch and dinner.  She would then buy fresh ingredients, and would prepare and cook all day, and then present what were positively, undeniably and undoubtedly the best meals any of us had ever had.  Lobster, incredible soups, shrimp, spicy beef and chicken dishes, delectable chicken skewers, the crispiest vegetable wraps imaginable, pad thai.   While I’ve never shied from eating, I honestly don’t remember another time where I felt so good after eating.  Despite a complete meal, there was never a sense of having overeaten.  We thought we’d eat out many of the nights, but Pin’s talents were so amazing that we dined in all but two nights, and wouldn’t have dined out at all if it not for feeling guilty for having her work so hard and long for us. 

Perhaps the only thing that has exceeded the value of the food has been the massages.  On every street and every couple of feet on every beach there are massage parlors and tables.  For about $10, you can stare out at the ocean while a masseuse gives you an incredible massage for an hour.   So different from the U.S..  Personal injury lawyers would starve here.  Prior to a massage in the in the states you have to disclose every prior medical condition on a liability waiver.  Here, your best form of protection from personal injury is to grab a stiff drink from one of the nearby tiki bars prior to your “treatment”.  Traci and I opted for the deep tissue massages, which were a blend of intense pleasure and pain.  For example, I haven’t had my fingers pulled and cracked since doing so to myself in a masochistic growth period as a kid.  I was a bit surprised at the audacity of the masseuse to do this, but when she unexpectedly did this to my hypersensitive, overly ticklish toes, I just about flopped off the table.  I was quickly reprimanded with jokes of “No Thai Boxing Mister!”  I didn’t think it could get worse until she started walking on my back and hamstrings.  For some reason my genuine screams of pain brought forth fits of laughter from not only the masseuses but also from my wife and children.  Oh to be so loved!  The masseuses don’t think that 100+ pounds of their body weight focused on their heel in the middle of your back is painful.  The Turks have nothing on the Thais when it comes to torture.  In all seriousness, the pleasure far exceeded the peril and each of us enjoyed many massages.  Halle enjoyed getting her hair braided into dreadlocks, and she and Sydney both enjoyed $3 pedicures.   Hayden enjoyed a couple of massages, but he wasn’t overly enthusiastic about them. 

After 6 days in Koh Samui, the in-laws and cousins had to depart.  We were able to enjoy a secoond week here with a greater emphasis on studying.  Hayden and Sydney spent 2 full days doing written prep work for their scuba certification, a 3^rd day doing testing and video work, and a 4^th with two open water certification dives.  Halle has to wait until she turns 10 but she was a trooper.  Syd and Hayden spent a full, unparented day of ocean diving and achieved their recreational certificates!  Since Sydney is obsessed with diving, she somehow crammed another two days of studying and tests and achieved her open water diver certification.  She then dived to 18m vs. the 12m for recreational divers.   Traci and I each enjoyed a dive along with Sydney and Hayden at a beautiful dive site called Sail Rock.  We saw moray eel, puffer fish, barracuda and thousands of other colorful creatures in crystal clear waters.  We are super proud of Hayden and Sydney for their focus and efforts, while their certifications are sure to drain what little will be left of their inheritance after this year.

As much as he loved diving, Hayden would certainly say that his highlight of the week was fishing.  There is a 4 acre fresh-water lake on the island, stocked with over 3,000 huge fish.  Called Cat Tops, it was a blast.  We spent 6 very hot but fun hours, catching big Piranha, Siamese Carp, and Mekong Catfish.  Hayden landed a catfish that at 80 pounds weighed as much as he did.  This was a pretty cool little business, and it was nice to see them treat the fish well.  I’m not saying that it is pleasant for the fish to be hooked and exhausted into submission, but since that is what fishing is, at least these fellows get a second chance.  All is catch and release and after a fish is landed, it is given antiseptic for the hook wound, and then are put in a highly oxygenated fish pen for the evening to recover before being returned to the lake. 

 

Thailand was great for our family.  It was great to see Travis, Erin, Tripp and Rieley.  We have never experienced food nor service as fabulous as what we received in our villa.  Thank you Nat, Pin, Tui and Mai.  The people here are incredibly friendly, the weather was fabulous, the island is beautiful and “relatively” modern, and except for our over the top villa, everything was very affordable.  Next up we’re heading north for three weeks of adventures in Northern Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and China.  

Outside Bangkok's Grand Palace

Hot kids

Inappropriately cooling down with the blessing water

Feeding the catfish on a canal off the Chao Praya River

Our tour guide has the attention of one adult, while the travel savvy adult resorts to the English language pamphlet

Heading to dinner in Bangkok in a Tuk Tuk.  I drew the short straw and had to chaperone Hayden and Tripp.  Word.

Halle gets kissed by her first python. 

This would cost one big $ at the local zoo benefit auction.  Here it was only $5.

Tripp feeds bread to a frenzy of catfish. 

At the rooftop pool in Bangkok, Halle and Rieley don't worry about that "caution no jumping" sign.

Chaos at the floating market

Thailand's MIT (Monks in training)

Monks and the reknowned longboats

As in Africa, Hayden has a thing for flowers in his hair

Sydney with "Unc"

Traci shocked that the driver is eating and not using his hands to drive

Every hotel needs one of these in the lobby

Sydney and Erin feed a bunch of bananas to their elephant.  Who's driving?

Hayden and Tripp take their elephant for a swim

"Princesses, please mind your parasols!"

Angthong Marine Park.  Picture with the Yeti only 20 Baht!

Travis and Erin, Angthong Marine Park

Thai head lice check

Thumbs up he's clean

One of my most memorable moments was swinging the crew on this pole.  I'm sure that is not what it was to be used for but everyone thought it was fun

Brother and sister at the zipline headquarters.  Never worry about safety of zipline equipment when you see broken steps, lots of garbage, and extensive use of blue tarps

Getting prepared for the jungle canopy zipline tour

I think I tore the crotch of my shorts on that last branch

Hayden dropping into the abyss

Traci (surprise surprise) was cackling on every turn

Travis and Traci helping in the kitchen

Sunrise

Tough living

Typical dinner spread.  I should have kidnapped the cook.

Bohput Beach.  Our place was at the end of the bay in the distance

Sydney.  "Dad I think this is gonna hurt!"

Hayden prepares for impact

Tripp with a fingertip catch

I'm sure Halle caught this

Everyone enjoying an introductory scuba class

A victim of too much Coca Cola at Chaweng Beach.  No one performed CPR

Traci and Rieley at Chaweng Beach

Getting dreadlocks on the beach

A girl must have a pedicure

Bad, blurry photo but I loved it as Erin and Traci both enjoy full-belly laughs!

Rieley, Tripp, Halle and Sydney get the royal treatment

Halle and the 2 ladies in the background are laughing!

Halle and Rieley sell and deliver a fine massage 

Traci, Clair, Hayden and Sydney get ready

Geared up

Brian, Sydney, Hayden and our divemaster Clair begin their descent

Sydney takes the giant step on her first ocean dive

Sydney and Hayden.  Thank goodness sharks aren't offended by neon orange.



"Good Boy.  Stay...Stay....Good Boy"

Sydney, Hayden and Traci

Can't sit Indian Style (is that a politically incorrect term?) on terra firma and obviously am unable to do so underwater.  Pretty sure I'll be able to do this when I return to Seattle and to my daily yoga routine..

This is the handyman Tui who gave us a ride to fishing.  Imagine our surprise when we opened the doors and discovered his stereo system.  Very cool.  Very shy man with a passion for loud music and we were fortunately able to see this.  Unfortunately he set a high bar for Hayden as he's bound to be disappointed with his first truck and stereo system.

7kg Piranha.  Kept looking at me wistfully, and when he wiggled free I gave him a little toss which got me a slap on the wrist from the guide.  They need to be gently released.  Apparently these are the local version and not the blood seeking Amazonian type. 

Hayden and our guide with his first catch, a 40 lb. Siamese Carp.  Very cool fish.

Lovely chap from South Africa who teaches English at a school near Bangkok, holding the strangely named "red tail catfish"

Kids, this is how you attempt to make a 40 pound catfish look like an 80 pounder

Or kids, if you're smart, you have the guide help you lift the 80 pounder.  Photos never lie.

Just to the right of the bushes in the water in the left distance is a green blob.  That is the guide's head.  Hayden's fish went in the weeds and the guide had to go clear it.  You couldn't have paid me to do that.  Nice work boy!

Love the effort

"Look Dad 3 hands!"  Hayden is so much stronger than he appears