Northern Thailand and Cambodia

We bid goodbye to Koh Samui and took two short flights north to Chiang Mai, the largest city in the Northern Thailand and the second largest in the country.  Chiang Mai is tiny in comparison to Bangkok; only 1 million or so people, and spread over a wide area.  After a night in Chiang Mai we drove north about 100 miles to a small village called Khum Lanna.  On the drive up the kids were hungry, so we ordered lunch at a roadside restaurant.  More like an open shack, but one of many.  Kind of like a food court at the mall except that there were cows and chickens and mangy dogs running around, lots of flies, an abundance of blue tarps, and lots of corrugated sheet metal roofs.  4 orders of Pad Thai, 1 soup, 3 sodas and 2 waters.  Grand total of 175 baht or about $5.75.  Good living.  Khum Lanna is a boutique “farm” renowned for its Thai cooking classes.  Over two evenings we prepared 6 incredible Thai dishes.  Each family member is now a certified Thai chef, and Traci and I look forward to the kids cooking most of our future meals.  The area was beautiful but unfortunately we were there during a heat wave.  I thought that having a BMI that is about 60 clicks north of desirable, coupled with a permanent fur sweater, would make me the most susceptible to overheating.  Not to be.  You know it is hot when a thin and fit 9 year old girl is sweating and developing a heat rash.  It was over 40 degrees Celsius each day.  That’s about 104 Fahrenheit.  That is sweating in the shade when you’re standing still hot.  There are 3 seasons in Thailand.  The Hot Season (March-May), Monsoon Season (June-Sept) and Winter Season (October-February).  It wasn’t quite as humid as in the South (probably 97% vs. 99%), but very funny as all we wanted to do in the afternoons was lie on our beds under the fans and not move much.  Despite Traci’s constant craving for a run or other exercise, she was pretty much bedridden.  We developed a deep appreciation for air conditioning, because if you don’t have it and it is really hot, you really crave it.

On our 3^rd morning we departed Khum Lana for Chiang Mai but not before a morning filled with animal adventures.  Our first stop was to an elephant camp called Maetamen.  After experiencing elephants in the wild in Africa, we were underwhelmed, to say the least, when we had elephant “riding” experiences in India and Nepal.  Nepal with the bathing was pretty cool, but we were still left with a fairly nasty taste in our mouths that the elephants were more often mistreated than not in these countries.  We didn’t really want to financially support any further rides, but our guide said that the show and the elephant paintings were really great.  We agreed and were glad we did.  I don’t know how, but somehow they teach elephants to paint and we happily purchased the evidence.   Great camp where it truly appeared that animals were treated well.   After the elephant camp, we headed to tiger kingdom, again on my and Traci’s behalf somewhat reluctantly.  We purchased tickets where you could go into the cage and be with smallest, small, big, or biggest tigers.  The kids chose smallest, while Traci and I saved about 75 cents and chose biggest.  Again, it wasn’t the wild, but at least with places like this there is a net gain in the species, compared to the habitat destruction and population decimation elsewhere.  Unfortunately I think that the only future for tigers is in places like this.  Kids and tigers galore.  Can’t have a more sure fire hit with the kids than that.  We did a few cheesy events like a snake show and a monkey show but our animal experience was quickly degenerating so we called it a day.  Still, with the elephants and tigers, it was one of the best days of our trip.

Next it was off to the airport for a couple of short flights.  After some nightmares about the sanity and filth at the airport in Kathmandu, I consider most other airports to now be islands of cool cleanliness with everything a traveler could need, especially air conditioning.  So we were off to Siem Reap, Cambodia.  The first impression of Cambodia wasn’t the greatest.  At customs we were beckoned to a line by a customs agent who seriously looked like an evil Cambodian version of Kathy Bates in “Throw mama from the train.”  She grunted to Traci and the kids to go through the line while I attempted to play nice, smile, and keep my sweat rate down to about 2 liters/minute.  She was the epitome of disservice.  I wanted to complain, but then I looked at her nametag and her title said “Police captain” so I refrained. I need to buy a nametag like that.  You never know when that could come in handy but I digress.  After about 15 minutes of unnecessary paperwork, she looked at me and smiled and said “You give me tip!” to which I quickly smiled and said I had no money, grabbed our passports and visas, and hustled to the baggage claim, thinking that if she came after me I could somehow shame her in front of her peers or the public.  Welcome to Cambodia!

Fortunately that was our worst experience.  Once again we were blessed with a guide with a strong command of the English language but the inability to speak the language in a way that could be clearly understood.  Let’s be compassionate and say that he had a strong accent.  On the way from the airport, the guide (a sweet guy, about 22, with an infectious smile) was trying to teach our family some basic Cambodian words.  Hello, please, etc.  So he is going through the various phrases and its 105 degrees outside and probably 101 inside the van with its lame A/C.  The guide says the words for hello and please and we all repeat and acknowledge.  We’re feeling cool and very multicultural.  Sydney, Traci and I are paying attention.  Hayden and Halle are in La La land.  The guide then looks directly at Traci and says a word we’ve never heard and then says “Sanks Shoe!” Traci looks him dead in the eye and repeats “Sanks Shoe?” thinking this is a Cambodian word and waiting for the English translation.  Traci is just soooo nice and she will engage this guy interminably.  It takes me a few seconds and I suppress a grin, but then Sydney gets the uncontrollable giggles.  She and I understand: Sanks Shoe = Thank You.  But I need to be polite, and can’t laugh, and Sydney is beet red and laughing hysterically but the guide doesn’t get it as he hasn’t really been talking to her.  Just about impossible to portray in words but it was so funny the mix of Traci being so nice, Sydney picking up on this, the guide not picking up on her getting it, and the subtle nuances of language.  I should not comment critically, as the people I denigrate for their English skills speak English a heckuva lot better than I do any second language.  But I will never forget the picture of Sydney laughing uncontrollably at our first Cambodian lesson.

 

Our first adventure was to head south to Tomle Sap (the largest freshwater lake in SE Asia) for a longboat ride to the floating villages at the north end of the lake.  This lake is pretty fascinating, ranging in size from 3,000 sq. km. during the dry season to 12,000 sq. km. after monsoon season.  Let me say that freshwater is a serious misnomer.  Take your lovely Starbucks iced caramel Frappuccino sans whip cream and sans ice (make it about 100 degrees Fahrenheit) and you get an idea of the lake’s color and temperature, but you don’t dare imagine the vile filth in the water.  Just because it doesn’t have salt, doesn’t mean it’s fresh.  Most probably think it is mud and sediment from the sands.  Seeing what we saw, and smelling what we smelled, I’m thankful our boat stayed afloat, especially as it was captained by a 17 year old who looked 12 and his younger brother as first mate. Still a very cool experience to see how people there lived.  

 

After dinner at a local restaurant, we bought and watched a $1 dvd copy of “The Hunger Games” (with some type of Scandinavian subtitles) and satisfied a long anticipated taste of Americana, as all of us have read the trilogy. 

During two days of touring, we were focused on seeing temples and then some more temples.  Some of these were actually super cool, especially Angor Wat and another temple known as “the Jungle Temple” which was strewn with huge fig trees throughout the ruins.  There are hundreds of temples in the area, most dating back to around 1200 A.D.  I can honestly say that the Janssen family is templed-out, especially in 100+ degree weather.   Despite the heat, these temples were pretty fascinating.  The Angor Wat complex is probably about the size of the Seahawks stadium and convention center.  Not as tall but all of it is imported stone and virtually every square inch of every sandstone structure is covered with incredibly detailed carvings.  Literally millions of hours of labor by very skilled craftsmen long, long ago. 

 

Our final evening we walked to the bustling night market and treated ourselves to the Dr. Fish Massage.  For $1, you sat on a bench and put your feet into a pool of goldfish that were ravenously hungry for the dead skin on your feet.  It is one of the strangest experiences I’ve had.  Incredibly ticklish and bizarre but apparently good for your feet, or so the vendors said.  I can’t believe that none of us had a camera but hopefully it will be a custom that is not limited to Cambodia.

Cambodia was great.  We only visited for 2 days.  Siem Reap is a very cool little town.  Clean, super cheap, great markets and restaurants, and the Cambodian people are wonderful and amazingly appreciative of visitors.  Were we to do this portion of the trip again, I’d probably load up on English materials and self-guide.  The guides were wonderful but the language barrier, even with their speaking some English, makes learning even more difficult as you expect the guide to teach you and don’t bone up on the material prior to.  We were counting on learning about the history but we didn’t learn as much as we’d hoped, however we definitely absorbed the sights and smells and sounds.  Next we’re off to Vietnam and China for a couple of weeks. 

Testing the exotic fruit at the Chiang Mai market

Add a little crunch to your soup or salad

Advertisement for the local market butcher

Cool temple in Chiang Mai.  Those are completely fake smiles on the kids.  It was about 110 degrees in there and the guide had us locked in a monologue which we couldn't understand. 

Sydney works on her curry

Break from cooking classes.  Hayden wanted to bring the apron home.

That would be an elephant painting an elephant.

Happy Elephants.  They cool themselves by flapping their ears (seriously).  Note the slack ears.

Sad Elephants.  Note the vigorously flapping ears.

$10,000 auction item at the Woodlawn Park Zoo.  In Chiang Mai, a $.67 tip worked just fine.

Halle with the world's best pillow

"Crimony this kid's face is hot!"

You're never too old to kiss a tiger cub!

Happy kids

It's a very strange feeling going in the cage of a full grown male tiger. 

Amazing animals

One of these guys loves his job.  Halle's first python kiss.

Hayden thinks "Silly Monkey!  Dumb guy doesn't even realize that I'm giving him bunny ears!"  Meanwhile, the excitement of wild kingdom day is evidently waning with the parents

"Hey pal I saw you giving me bunny ears and if you try that again I'll bite off something that will really hurt!"

In Cambodia, on a longboat ride to Tomle Sap

This just really bothered me

Crocodile pen at the floating village

The floating village at Tomle Sap

School

14 year old first mate churning up the muddy water

Our first temple

Traci is pretty much the pied piper of street vendors

Second temple.  Enthusiasm draining proportionally with increasing temperature

Finishing the Cambodian Ironman or what happens after a 60' climb in the heat

Not sure if the people or the oxen are more unhappy.  Nothing like hopping in an ox cart for a bumpy fly filled ride in the heat!

Cambodian Taxi.  Wish I would have snapped a picture from the side as well.  There were at least 20 people in this van

Eastern entrance to Angkor Wat

One of many detailed walls in Angkor Wat

Finer detail

"Yippee!  Dad when can we see the next temple?"

Another totally staged, kids look like you're having fun photo in Angkor Wat

More detail in Angkor Wat.  Every surface was covered with hand carvings and there are MILES of surfaces.

Apparently this is a famous photo spot for the reflection in the pool, but being the dry season the pool was more cesspool than relecting pool.

Traci and her favorite tree

The Western entrance to Angkor Wat with our guide Vaythun

Angkor Tom

The Jungle Temple



More fig tree roots at the Jungle Temple

OK if you've read this far you're either family by blood or by marriage.  If not you need a new hobby.  Funny video of the cheesy monkey show and its star "Monkey Jordan"